If I Ain't Got You
by slayersrule
Summary: Buffy and the gang: life after the final battle. Buffy’s world is upside down when a chance comes for her to make it right side up. Will she make the right choice? Or will she make the wrong one? And as always, another apocalypse… will be spuffy!
1. Confessions

**Summary:** Buffy and the gang: life after the final battle. Buffy's world is upside down when a chance comes for her to make it right side up. Will she make the right choice? Or will she make the wrong one? And as always, another apocalypse… will be spuffy! (by the way, this isn't a songfic)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for this story. If I did, Spike wouldn't have died! 

**Author's note: **This is my first story ever so I will really appreciate reviews whether they are good or bad! Hope you enjoy! Oh yeah, I'd also like to thank geliana for helping me with this story.

**Chapter 1 - Confessions **

Despair.

Longing.

Guilt.

Pain.

_Why are these feelings always so familiar to me? _Buffy thought. _I've always been left by so much people I love, it's like I should be feeling used to all this leaving-ness. And I know what I did wrong to all of them, so why can't I fix myself to stop them from leaving? It's like I always find a way to screw things up in different ways. _

Darkness.

Regret.

Emptiness.

_And then came Spike. He used to be useless to me, but before he died, he believed in me when no one else did. He gave me strength to fight back. I didn't admit it but…he meant so much to me that it hurts to think that he'd be here right now if I just brought him with me instead of leaving him there to "clean up" the hellmouth…I loved him – and now he's gone forever… but I have to move on…for him._

Buffy sighed and rested her head on her hands. Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks falling to her palms. She shut her eyes to stop the tears and soon fell asleep.

_/ "Go on, then." Urged Spike._

"_No. No, you've done enough. You could still -" Buffy said, concern in her voice._

"_No, you've beat them back. It's for me to do the cleanup." He stated._

_The place crumbled around them. _

"_Buffy, come on!" Faith called down to Buffy as she left. _

"_Gotta move, lamb. I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer" joked Spike._

"_Spike!" Buffy said worried. _

"_I mean it! I gotta do this." Spike said as he put held out his hand to stop Buffy._

_Buffy laced her fingers through Spike's, and they burst into flame together._

"_I love you…" Buffy said as she looked softly into his clear blue eyes._

"_No, you don't. You never can and never will. And I am a fool for ever loving you. Now go!" he said, anger rising in his voice. /_

Buffy woke up with a start.

"We are now nearing Los Angeles and are estimated to arrive there in 15 minutes" said the captain, his voice echoing throughout the plane. Buffy and Dawn were on a plane to L.A. to visit their dad for the summer. They lived in Rome with Xander, Willow, Kennedy, Andrew, Robin, and Faith.

"Dawnie" Buffy said as she tried to shake away her dream and her thoughts about Spike.

Dawn's head was resting on her shoulder. Buffy gently shook her sister awake. "Time to wake up. We're near L.A."

"Huh?" asked Dawn then she yawned. "Oh, yeah" She yawned and stretched. Then she turned to her side and stared out of the window. The sky was dark and hardly any clouds could be seen. Seeing as there wasn't any good view anyway, she turned back to face her sister.

"Buffy?" asked Dawn.

"Yeah?" Buffy answered as she flipped through a magazine. Dawn had a hard time thinking of what to say next since she knew it was a subject that Buffy really didn't like talking about.

"You dreamt about him." Buffy froze. "Earlier when you were asleep?" Buffy sighed and closed the magazine. She looked down and stared at her hands.

"Yeah" Buffy replied. "How did you know?" she asked quietly. "Well, the dead giveaway was you whispering his name"

"Oh" said Buffy. "But I thought you were asleep"

"I would've been if it weren't for my nightmare of Andrew taking over the world and making us worship him and Star Wars"

"Freaky" Buffy said as they laughed.

"Totally" Dawn agreed as they quieted down and sat in silence for a while.

"I dunno what happened between him and you before he…" Dawn paused for she knew it would be too painful for Buffy and even her to say and hear what Dawn almost said. Buffy just nodded in understanding. "I know that you're in pain even if you try not to show it and I know that you might never tell me or talk about it… and I respect that. But if it helps at all… just so you know, I miss him a lot too" said Dawn.

Tears were now forming slowly in Buffy's eyes. "When he came back, with his soul," Dawn continued, "I threatened to kill him if he ever hurt you again, and since then I never got to patch things up with him. I wanted to tell him I forgave him and that I was sorry, but I never got the chance to" said Dawn as she started tearing up too. "And now he'll never know" Dawn said as she started crying.

Buffy held her tears in because she knew she had to be strong in front of Dawn and everyone else. She let Dawn sob on her shoulder. "Shhh. It's okay. Just try to be strong okay? And I'm sure that Spike wouldn't want us to grieve for him forever" she said and at the same time tried to convince herself the same thing. After Dawn's sobbing quieted, Buffy said quietly, "I never told anyone this before but, you're my sister and I wanna tell you." Dawn smiled.

"I loved him" said Buffy.

"You did?" asked Dawn as Buffy nodded.

"I told him that and he didn't believe me. He said "No you don't but thanks for saying it". I meant it and he didn't believe me" Buffy confessed.

"Oh my god. That must be so hard for you" Dawn said, her heart breaking for her sister.

"It gets better sometimes. I try not to think about it and I move on. I'm sure that's what he would want for me, right?"

"I guess so, but would it help to say that it was stupid of him to not believe you?" Dawn asked, trying to lighten everything up for the both of them.

"Maybe. But I think it was partly my fault. I kept treating him like dirt and denying to myself, that maybe he already thought long ago that I could never love him" Buffy said as she sighed.

Dawn didn't say anything. She couldn't and she wouldn't. So the Summers sisters just sat there both deep in thought as they waited for their arrival at Los Angeles.

Back in Rome…

Willow was making a snack in the kitchen and at the same time looking for her phone. "Where the hell is it?" she asked herself. She woke up for a midnight snack and planned to call Buffy in L.A. to see how she was doing. But she didn't memorize Buffy's number, which was saved in her cell phone. So no phone equals no call. Everyone else was asleep except for Andrew who said that he would be coming home late that night. "I could've sworn I left it on the table" she thought out loud, she shrugged it off for a while and went to make hot chocolate.

After making her drink, she decided to make one last sweep around the place when she saw Andrew's room wide open and on it she saw her phone. "Bad Andrew" she said as she shook her head. She took her phone and was about to leave when she say something caught her eye. It was Andrew's Watcher's diary. Which was already open so Willow felt that there was nothing wrong with taking a peak. _Ok so peak here means read as much as you can till he gets back. _She thought to herself. She was flipping through the pages when she saw something interesting.

_I was called to go to the City of Los Angeles to help capture a slayer of the vampyrs. I was trained and skilled with all those fighting techniques and have a much better instinct now._

Willow had to laugh at that. For just before Andrew left for his errand that day, he tripped on the carpet and fell to the ground and knocked himself out for a few minutes. She giggled one last time before continuing reading the diary. She scanned down the entry for it seemed boring to her. _Wow, he writes even more boring that Giles did. And here I thought I'd never hear myself say that. _She thought. Then she came to something more interesting.

_It was while I was filling Wesley and the others about what I knew, I turned my chair around to face Angel as he came in. And lo and behold, in all his leather and bleach-ness glory, came in Spike._

As she finished reading that last sentence, her mouth fell open and she almost dropped her mug. Just then, Andrew chose to interrupt at that exact moment. "Hey, what are you doing in my room?" asked Andrew.

"You've got tome explaining to do, missy" he said.

"So do you" Willow said turning around to face him, his diary in her hands to the page about Spike.

"Oh" Andrew said guiltily.

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Reviews please! Will update soon! 


	2. Empty

Thanks for the reviews! Really appreciate it! Please continue reviewing. The more reviews that come, the faster I will update!

* * *

In a couple of minutes Buffy and Dawn arrived at the Los Angeles airport.

"Dad's picking us up right?" asked Dawn as they got off the plane.

"Yup. That's what he said" replied Buffy.

"Do you know where he lives?" Dawn asked. "I mean he keeps moving everywhere and we never know where he stays anymore" said Dawn as they walked inside to the luggage area.

"No, I don't. But that's the reason why he called us to come over and said that he would pick us up, remember?" replied Buffy.

"Oh right"

They waited for their bags to come. There were too much people so Buffy and Dawn had a hard time looking for their bags. Buffy was getting her bags when some guy bumped into her and made her bags fall back down.

"Okay, rude much" she muttered as she picked up her bags again. She went over to Dawn and helped her with her stuff.

"Got everything?" asked Buffy.

"Umm" Dawn said as she checked everything again. "Yup, everything's complete"

By the time they got ready to leave, it was already 10:30 pm. They looked for their dad but he wasn't there.

"Are you sure you gave him the right time to pick us up?" asked Dawn.

"Yeah, I'm positive" replied Buffy. "I told him to pick us up at exactly 10:15. It's already been 15 minutes."

"You should go call him" Dawn said.

"Let's give him 10 minutes. If he's not here in 10, then I'll call him" said Buffy.

Dawn nodded. They decided to sit down while waiting for their dad. In a little while, 10 minutes came and Dawn looked at Buffy. She knew what that look meant.

"Yes, yes" she said. She dug into her bag for her phone. She dialed the number then waited for him to pick up.

"Come on, pick up, dad" she muttered.

"Hello?" said a voice which definitely was not her dad's. It was a woman's voice.

"Hello, may I please speak to Hank Summers? It's kind of urgent"

"Sorry lady. He isn't home right now besides, do you know what time it is? Sorry but you'll have to call again in the morning." She said then hung up right before Buffy was about to say something.

"Right. That was weird" said Buffy as she put her phone back in her bag.

"Why? What did he say?" Dawn asked.

"It wasn't he. It was a she" said Buffy. "A woman picked up the phone and said dad wasn't there and that I should just call him back in the morning"

"Oh, really?" Dawn asked. "I never knew he was involved with someone"

"Yeah, me too" Buffy agreed and sighed as she sat down on a bench. "Ok, so how are we going to find him without, you, know, searching the whole city?" she asked. "I guess we could ask the help of -"

"Angel!" Dawn cut in.

"Well, I was gonna say the police, but I guess that's okay" said Bffy.

"No, I mean he's behind you right now" said Dawn.

"Oh" Buffy said as she turned around to face him.

"Hey" greeted Angel who looked upset.

"Hey" Buffy greeted back. "What are you doing here?" she asked as she went over and hugged him. Something about this made Angel frown slightly. Usually during his visits, Buffy would kiss him. Now she just hugged him, not even a kiss on the cheek. He figured it was just because Dawn was there. Or also that Buffy didn't trust him anymore for taking over Wolfram and Hart.

* * *

_Or maybe it's about Spike. _A voice said in his head. But he just shook it off immediately.

Dawn went over and hugged him too. "Hey Dawn" he said.

"Hey" she greeted back. "How've you been?" she asked.

"I've been better" answered Angel.

"Wait, you still didn't answer my question. What are you doing here? You couldn't have known. I didn't tell you. Well, you could've tracked me down with that big law firm of yours, but you don't follow me around" she thought about that. "Wait, do you?"

"Uhh, no I didn't" Buffy raised her eyebrows at that and Angel thought of what he just said. "Don't. I mean"

"Then how did you know?" asked Dawn before Buffy could.

Angel just stood there looking down at the ground like what he was going to say next was hard for him. Which, it was.

"Angel?" asked Buffy asked slowly and seriously. "What's wrong?"

Angel sighed before her spoke. "We've been tracking down this demon about a few days ago. It can change its form to a human and it has mind control over its victims. It's source of food is the pleasure of killing its victims. That's basically what we know but it might have other attributes."

"Okay, but what does that have to do with us?" asked Buffy.

"I got a phone call earlier at about 10:30 from one of our team members. They found the demon right after it made it's kill. They were too late to save the victims. When they got there the demon jumped out of the window" he paused. "The victims were a man and a woman."

"W-who were they?" Buffy asked as she dreaded the answer. She figured it must be someone she knew since why would Angel come to her and tell her this unless she's connected?

Angel got a piece of paper from his pocket. "The man had this in his hand" he said as he handed the paper to Buffy and Dawn read over her sister's shoulder.

_10:15 – Don't forget to pick up Buffy and Dawn and __take them out to dinner afterwards_

"Buffy, it was your father" Angel said quietly as Dawn sat down on a bench in shock and Buffy looked up, horror, confusion, and grief written on her face.

* * *

Reviews please! 


	3. Too much?

Thanks again for all the reviews, you guys! You're gonna get tired of this because I'll never stop thanking all of you! Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Too much? **

"Wh-what?" Buffy asked, still shocked from everything she just heard.

"I'm so sorry" Angel said as he went over and hugged Buffy. Beside them, Dawn was sobbing quietly. Buffy just stood there as Angel hugged her unable to move or think straight. "But h-how can that be? I just called him a little while ago and a woman answered" said Buffy after she pulled out of the hug. "She must've been under the control of the demon. Whether dead or not, the demon can control it's victims as long as they aren't strong enough to fight his thrall"

As Buffy took this all in, she looked around, unsure of what to do. All the shock of the news made her feel unable to think properly. Should she hit something? Run away? Get mad? Cry like her sister? At that last thought, she remembered about Dawn who was just sitting quietly, her face tear-stained. _Oh god, Dawn. _She thought to herself and went over to her sister and hugged her tight. "Ssshhh. It's okay" Buffy said quietly while stroking her sister's hair. A few tears escaped her eyes as she held her sister. This time, she let them fall freely.

* * *

"I can explain" Andrew said nervously since he saw Willow's serious face. 

"Oh, you better" she said.

"Okay. Just don't freak out and go all dark-witchy and vainy on me" he whined.

"Hello? Good now! Ever since, like way before!" Willow protested defensively. "Remember? All white-haired me? I got my powers in control now. Ever since the spell in the hellmouth with the scythe, I was able to harness my powers and – wait, you're the one who's supposed to be explaining." Willow saw his uncertain expression. "I won't kill you, okay? You just ticked me off"

"Well, I just gotta be sure. You'll never know. Your annoyance over me might take you back over to the dark side just like Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars and start killing-"

"Just explain already!" Willow said, getting really pissed and impatient with Andrew.

"Okay, okay, fine. Spike _is_ back. He's working with Angel at Wolfram and Hart for I don't know how long. That's all I know, I swear"

"Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell Buffy?" Willow asked a little hurt.

"Well, Spike told me not to tell you guys about him. Especially Buffy. Besides, he said he was gonna tell Buffy on his own" he added.

"Did you even tell him how Buffy was doing after he died?" asked Willow.

"Yeah. As a matter of fact I did. I told him she was happy, peachy, yadda, yadda, yadda" he said nonchalantly.

"No she-" Willow said but paused. _No, he couldn't have known. He doesn't know her as well as I do. She was clearly hurting after Spike died even if she tried to hide it. _"Never mind" Willow said. "We'll talk about this in the morning" she added as she went to leave the room. "Uhhhh. Go to bed or something" she added hastily as she closed the door.

"Wait! You left your mug!" Andrew called out but he was too late. He walked over and saw the drink was his favorite. "Yum" he said as he was about to take a sip. But, it magically floated up and the door magically opened to let it out as it floated away towards the Wicca's room.

"Ha. Powers for good, my butt" he said as he turned the lights off and flopped onto his bed.

* * *

Buffy and Dawn just sat there in silence, hugging each other, both grieving for their dad. Angel felt so bad seeing them suffer, seeing Buffy suffer so he decided they might need to be alone somewhere private and maybe get some sleep. 

"I think you guys should get some rest. We'll take care of everything in the morning, what do you think?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think we should. But Dawn and I need a place to stay" Buffy said.

"It's okay. It's all taken care of. You guys can stay with us as long as you want" said Angel.

"Thanks" Buffy said as she smiled faintly at Angel.

"It's no problem at all" Angel said as he lead them out to the car where it was raining outside. While in the car nobody said anything as they made their way to Wolfram and Hart. Dawn though, decided to break the silence.

"Can we pass by his apartment?" asked Dawn quietly.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now" answered Buffy. But then, Buffy saw her sister's subtle pleading look and decided to let Dawn have her way. "Ok, fine but lets not stay there long" said Buffy as she nodded to Angel.

Buffy felt like it took forever for them to reach their dad's apartment. Probably because she was dreading what she may or may not see. In a while they arrived at the apartment.

"Are they…still in there?" asked Buffy uncertainly.

"I'm not sure. But they should be gone by now" answered Angel.

Buffy looked at Dawn and she nodded as Buffy cautiously opened the door. Fortunately, they were already gone. Buffy let out the breath she was holding then she went around the place. The place was a mess and there definitely was a struggle. Dawn was looking around too and her eyes fell upon her dad's desk. On it was a corkboard and it had a picture of her, Buffy and their dad.

"Dawn!" Buffy called out from the other end of the room.

"Dawn?" I think we-" she said but stopped as she spotted her sister and what she was doing. Dawn had in her hands a picture of her and Buffy with their dad during the summer they spent together in L.A. Among other things in that room was a box on top of a shelf that said _Buffy and Dawn. _Buffy walked towards it and opened the box to find letters, gifts, and other things that she and Dawn had given their dad ever since they were kids. _He still kept them. _Buffy thought as she tucked the box away sadly. She walked towards her sister who still hasn't moved since she got there. "I miss him" whispered Dawn. "I miss him too. So much" Buffy whispered back.

"It's not fair" Dawn said quietly as the sisters stared at the picture Dawn was holding.

"I know Dawnie. Sometimes the world just isn't fair."

"Really?" asked Dawn as she looked at her sister. "Cause to me, it feels like it's _always_ unfair"

Buffy hugged her sister as a message that everything will be alright, not saying it out loud since she herself didn't know if everything _was_ going to be alright.

"Come on, we'd better get going" Buffy said as she pulled out of the hug and lead Dawn out of the room.

"Wait" Buffy said as she went back to the room to get something. She brought the _Buffy and Dawn_ box with her. On her way out, she saw the broken window which the demon probably escaped from. A jolt of rage and anger went through her as she thought about the demon that murdered her dad. But, not wanting to stay any longer and be reminded of the tragedy, she just let it go and shut the door on her way out.

* * *

It was a bright, cheerful Saturday morning and the whole gang was going to have a meeting at Xander's place. 

"Die! Die Andrew! Die!" Xander yelled.

"Never! Feel my wrath, weakling!" Andrew yelled back.

The two were fighting, obviously but against each other in a video game. In a while, the game ended and victory was Xander's.

"Who's the weakling now?" taunted Xander. "Ha. I can still win a video game even with one eye. Go me!" he said

"I demand a rematch!" complained Andrew.

"Not now. Besides I won fair and square" Xander said as he stood up and looked out of the window.

"Where is everybody? Willow said we would be having a meeting today here and only you showed up"

Andrew gulped because knew what it would be all about. "Well, I dunno, maybe-" he started to say but the doorbell rang and they heard Willow's voice through the door.

"Speak of the devil" Xander said before opening the door.

"Guys! Hi! I was wondering whether you already forgot where I lived!" Xander greeted.

"Very funny, Xander" Willow said as she, Kennedy, Faith and Robin entered the apartment.

"So, what's all the hubbub all about?" Faith asked while everyone gathered around in the living room.

"Yeah, what's happening? Or is this some sort of unplanned movie marathon?" asked Kennedy.

"It's something I discovered last night. Something important and……somewhat unexplained" she said as she walked behind where Andrew was sitting and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Mr. Not-so-sneaky here, has apparently been keeping something from us for I'd say a long enough time"

"Okay. I'll tell you guys but just stop staring at me like I'm some kind of psycho killer!" Andrew whined again then he noticed that everyone just stared at him more after he said that.

"You know what? I'll do it" Willow interrupted, fed up with Andrew. "It's about Spike"

"Spike? As in save-the-world-Spike?" Xander asked.

As much as he didn't want to admit that, he did. Everyone knew very well how much Xander hated Spike and after Spike had saved the world and died doing it, his perspective of the vampire changed. He looked back and saw that he had in fact, changed and done good to the world. He also saw that Buffy was hurting after he died and he felt for her. He knew very well what it felt like to loose someone. Xander never really understood Buffy's relationship with Spike but he knows enough to know that his best friend grieved for the vampire. But it still wasn't like he'd want to go be best buds with Spike. But weirdly, he sort of missed all the annoying remarks Spike would throw at him.

"……don't know how long Spike's been back but-" Willow said but was interrupted by Xander who just came out from being deep in thought and just happened to catch what Willow just said.

"Whoa whoa, hold on there a sec, Will. Spike's back?" he asked astonished.

"Yeah, where've you been all this time?" asked Willow as she continued and didn't wait for Xander to reply. "Anyway, all that we know is that Spike's been back for a while and he's working at Wolfram & Hart with Angel.

Just then, the phone rang and Xander answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Xander, it's me. I tried calling everyone else but they were all out" answered a glum-sounding-Buffy.

"Hey, it's the Buffster! Hold on, I'll put you on speaker phone" he said as he pressed the button.

"Hey Buffy!" Everyone greeted.

"Hey guys" she greeted back a bit quietly. She really didn't want to be on speaker right now when she was about to tell the gang bad news.

"What's the matter B? You don't sound like yourself" said Faith.

"Yeah, Buffy. What's the matter?" asked Willow a little worried.

Buffy paused for a while before answering. "I have…news. Bad news"

Everyone looked at each other, all registering the thought that it wasn't about Spike because Buffy should be happy about that, right? _Don't tell her _Willow mouthed to the others and they nodded in reply.

"What is it, Buffy?" asked Kennedy.

"How bad is it?" Willow asked getting more nervous by the minute.

Buffy gave a bitter laugh. "It's bad alright." She said so quietly that they barely heard her. "It's my dad. He uh… was murdered by a demon" she said quietly. The gang could hear her sniff in the background.

"Oh my god, Buffy. I'm so sorry" said Willow

"Yeah…I'm sorry Buffy" Xander said while the others were just quiet in a bit of a shock and didn't know what to say.

"Thanks. I called to let you guys know I'll be staying with Angel. He uhh, has extra rooms for me and Dawn. If you want contact me, just call me on my cell phone. He's the one who told us about……anyway, our trip will be cut short so I guess you guys should expect us soon" said Buffy, her voice become softer and softer.

"Okay, you should take all the time you need. No hurry" Xander said.

"Yeah, I'll see you soon, guys. Bye" she said as she hung up.

No one said anything for a while. They were all to busy thinking.

"Poor Buffy" said Andrew sadly.

"Yeah, she's had too much to handle" said Willow.

"And she still doesn't know about Spike?" asked Robin and everyone nodded.

"Well, that's the bright side right? I mean, she's in L.A. after all, and Spike works with Angel so they're bound to bump into each other" Faith said, then she realized what she just said. "See each other, I mean"

"Yeah, so then Spike will be a good thing for her. She'll be happy and he'll be there to comfort her, right?" asked Kennedy.

"Yeah, or Spike could know that she's there and start avoiding her so she wouldn't know he was back. Or worse, Angel would stop Spike from seeing Buffy" Xander said.

"I don't think Spike will be too eager to look for Buffy. I mean, why would he keep it from her all this time and never call her? I'm sure things like these just don't slip your mind" said Robin.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I just hope that after all this, with the Buffy's dad dying and Spike coming back and all, it won't be too much for Buffy" Willow said as everyone silently agreed and sat in silence, all deep in thought.

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Reviews please! Tell me what you think of it so far. Thanks!

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	4. Is This Real?

As usual, thanks for the reviews!

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**Chapter 4- Is This Real?**

Angel walked slowly towards his least favorite person's room. He paused right outside the door for a while deciding whether to just barge in or knock.

"Just open the bloody door, Peaches" Spike said from inside.

Angel sighed as he went in. Spike was sitting on his arm chair watching _Passions_. "So what brings you down here...boss?" teased Spike.

"I need you to go to this place and I need you to leave tonight. At midnight. We think there might be a couple of demons there" he handed Spike a piece of paper. "I need someone who can take care of himself in case there are problems" He said. "And basically someone I don't care about if he dies" he muttered. But Spike being all vampire-y hearing and all, he heard it loud and clear. " 'Ey. I heard that. Well, no harm, no foul. Feeling's mutual" he said with a wink.

Spike looked up after he read the piece of paper. "Alright then. I'd love to get away from you people even if it's just for a day or two." He said as Angel sighed and sat down on the chair beside Spike. Something about Angel's expression made Spike doubt that that was all that his grandsire had in his mind.

"So what are you really here for?" asked Spike as he took a drink. "You could easily ask one of your soldier boys to do the job instead of me" he continued.

Angel sighed again. He knew it was either now or never. "It's Buffy" he finally said. Spike almost choked on his drink when he heard that. "She's here? In L.A.?"

Angel nodded. "Dawn's with her too. They're staying at the office. We have extra rooms for them"

"And you want me to stay away from them" said Spike uncertainly as Angel nodded. "Oh I see you're afraid of some competition" challenged Spike as he smirked.

"No that's not it" Angel said, getting angry. "They weren't even planning to stop by. They arrived in L.A. just yesterday and at the same time, their dad was murdered by a demon we've been tracking for a while. They needed a place to stay"

"Oh" Spike said thinking about it for a while. He felt sad for Buffy since he knew a lot of people have left her in her life. _Including yours truly. _He thought. "Well, wouldn't it be better if I showed up? It'd make her happy, I'd wager"

"No, I don't want to risk it. After her dad's death and then _you _showing up, it might be too much for her to take in."

Spike considered it for a while. If Buffy really was back, and considering the events that just happened, he knew Buffy would need someone to talk to. She'd just shut herself off just like she said she's been doing her whole life as a slayer. But he decided, a day or two wouldn't hurt.

"Fine" he said grumpily. "But when I get back, I'm free to show myself to her"

"Fine" Angel said just as grumpily as he started to leave the room. "Just don't do anything stupid I'd have to kill you for" he said.

"You know me" Spike said as he smirked and Angel shook his head not knowing what he even meant by that, and closed the door.

* * *

Buffy woke up at the middle of the night, not being able to sleep. She stared at the ceiling, thinking. Getting out of bed, she went over and sat next to her sister's bed. She stroked her sister's hair carefully so as not to wake her, just like she did when they were younger. _Dawn. God, I don't know what I'd do without her. I've lost Tara, Anya, Spike, Mom, and now Dad. I can't bear to lose her. She's the only real family I have now. _She thought sadly. 

As quiet as a mouse, she put on her robe and went over to the balcony doors and opened them, stepping outside to the cold breeze. Watching the scene before her, cars speeding by, and the stars twinkling above her, she stood there deep in thought, again. _Another one lost… _She thought, remembering all who have left her. Dead or not.

A single drop of water hit her and broke her out of her thoughts as she looked around trying to find out where it came from. She looked up towards the sky and several more drops fell and soon enough it was pouring rain. "Just great" she muttered and went inside, not even bothering to make a run for it.

When she got inside, she was soaking wet. She went to the bathroom and took a shower and dried herself off putting on some loose clothes. After, she decided to head out to the kitchen to get a drink and maybe a snack if she felt like it. She quietly left the room and started making her way towards the kitchen. She realized she didn't know the way around the whole building. Angel didn't really have a chance to show her around since when they arrived from their trip, she and Dawn just went straight to the room provided for them. She decided she had all night. She didn't want or feel like sleeping anyway.

Going around the whole place, Buffy saw that there were like a million rooms everywhere she turned around. Lots of rooms with lots of things she didn't recognize. Then she remembered that Wolfram and Hart was a law firm, of well, evil. And Angel was part of it. She remembered the time they were looking for another rogue slayer and Andrew had gone to take care of it. Buffy didn't trust the law firm and she didn't trust Angel as much anymore. Especially because she didn't expect him to do something so unbelievable. Worried that he would be corrupted by the power and evil and loose sight of what was important. She couldn't believe that that was the man (technically vampire) she fell in love with. Because of all the shock of the events, she had forgotten all of this. Finally shaking those thoughts away, she turned around a corner and found the kitchen.

* * *

Spike looked at the clock and saw it was a quarter past midnight. He decided to get a move on the job so that he would get back as early as he could. And maybe so that he can comfort Buffy A.S.A.P. He got up and got a few of his things. Cigarettes, lighter, leather coat, the usual. Going to his refrigerator he also decided to pack some blood. "Bugger" he said as he saw he didn't have anymore blood. Deciding to drop by Angel's to get (or is it stealing?) some blood, he left headed there. 

When he got to W&H, he never expected to see anyone awake there. _Well probably tall, dark and forehead brooding his head off._ He thought with a smirk. He was wrong however when he arrived at the kitchen and saw the last person he ever expected to see…Buffy.

Her back was turned to her but there was no mistake. It was her alright, the woman he fell in love with. "Buffy?" he asked.

That voice. That one voice made Buffy's heart skip not just one beat, but two. Slowly she turned around her heart pounding and millions of thoughts raced through her mind. _This can't be real. I'm dreaming._ She thought. When she turned around she saw exactly what has been in her dreams for the past few months. She'd had too many of these kinds of dreams in the past and they all ended badly.

"S-spike?" she asked her voice full of uncertainty and shock. She prepared herself for the worst. Usually in her dreams he would end up in flames or the last moment they had in the hellmouth would play over and over, each different but with the same kind of heartache.

"Are you real?" she asked softly, tears yet forming again. She didn't notice the pool of drinking water forming on the floor that was dripping from the pitcher she was holding.

"As real as you are, pet" Spike said, a little smile forming on his lips. He hadn't been planning to show himself yet to Buffy and yet it happened. He could see her trying to figure it all out and trying so desperately to hide her emotions from being seen on her face.

Buffy desperately wanted to be in his arms and stay there forever. To seek comfort in his arms and let the world fall away. So she decided to do exactly just that. No matter if this _was _a dream. No matter if it was a hallucination. No matter if it would end badly. Putting down the glass and pitcher, she made to run towards him. But out of sheer desperation, she still didn't notice the pool of water. She slipped and fell and unfortunately hit her head on the table in front of her, falling unconscious.

"Buffy!" Spike yelled as he ran and caught her before she hit the ground. He carried her in his arms and saw that there was a small bump starting to form on her forehead. He decided to bring her back to her room so that she can rest. He slowly made his way up towards Buffy's room and despite everything, he smiled. _She looks as beautiful as ever. _He thought with another smile. _But her eyes_. He thought as he noticed the dark circles that had formed beneath her eyes. He frowned as he noticed that.

Opening her room, he carefully laid her down on her bed. He got an ice pack, a pen, and a piece of paper. He put the ice pack on Buffy's head and quickly scribbled a note. _Be careful next time:) _

He next went over to Dawn who was sleeping soundlessly. _The lil' Bit's grown a lot. And beautiful just like her sister. _He thought as he gently kissed Dawn's forehead. Going back to Buffy, he removed the ice pack and put it on the bedside table then kissed Buffy on the forehead too. As he stood and left the room, he looked back and could've sworn he saw a small smile on both Buffy and Dawn's face.

* * *

R E V I E W S p l e a s e ! T h a n k s ! 


	5. Seek and Destroy

Thanks so much for the reviews……again!

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Seek and Destroy **

Buffy groaned as she woke up the next day feeling a slight ache on her head. Feeling a small bump on her forehead, she started to recall what had happened the night before. _Think Buffy. Uhhhh, rain, bath, lots of rooms. _Buffy thought as she stood up and picked up the ice pack she saw on her bedside table. _Then uhhh, water, kitchen… _Buffy gasped as she saw the note and recognized the handwriting. Then all the events came racing back to her._ Spike._

She remembered slipping from the water and knocking herself out. Then a faint, blurry memory of being kissed on the forehead. _No. It can't be. _Buffy thought as she backed away and fell on her bed. "Oof!" she said. At the same time, the ice pack slipped from her hand as she fell and it hit Dawn squarely on the face which woke her up.

"Ow!" Dawn cried as she sat up after being woken up, unintentionally. "Rude much!" she added while wondering why on earth would her sister throw an _ice pack_ of all things to her while she was asleep, knowing she hasn't done anything wrong lately. Or at least she thinks she hasn't. "What was that for?"

"Oh. Oops! Sorry, it kinda slipped from my hand" said Buffy as she got up from the bed.

"Uh huh. And why do you have an ice pack?" asked Dawn.

"Oh uh because…" Buffy trailed off, not sure whether she should tell Dawn the truth. She might just not believe it. But then Buffy remembered the talk they shared in the plane and realized how much Dawn cared and grieved for Spike too. She deserved to know the truth.

"Buffy?" asked Dawn.

Buffy walked over to Dawn and sat at the edge of her bed. "If I tell you what happened, do you promise not to freak out, or tell anyone about it?" asked Buffy.

Dawn nodded in response. "Ok, last night," Buffy started, taking a deep breath. "I woke up at the middle of the night and went to get water. When I got there, I spilled lots of water on the floor out of shock because I saw…Spike" said Buffy as Dawn's eyes went huge. But before Dawn could say anything, Buffy put a hand up, stopping Dawn from saying anything yet. "I forgot about the water, made a run for Spike, slipped on the water, and boinked my head on the table ahead of me"

Dawn opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Taking opportunity of her inability to speak, Buffy took out the note she found on her table and showed it to Dawn.

"But, how can that be?" asked Dawn, still shocked.

"I honestly don't know" said Buffy feeling hopeless.

Dawn then asked what had been on Buffy's mind. "Are you sure you weren't just hallucinating or something?"

"I don't know. It just felt so real. Especially the part where I think he kissed me on the forehead. But it was all a blur" confessed Buffy.

"Yeah, I know" Dawn confessed too.

Buffy was about to nod when she realized what Dawn just said. "What, huh?"

"I think he also kissed me on the forehead last night"

This time it was Buffy's eyes that went huge.

"He used to do it all the time" Dawn continued with a smile before Buffy could speak. "That summer when you were…gone, before he left for his crypt after patrol, he would always kiss me goodnight on the forehead. Sometimes, he would actually sneak in just to do that. I was always awake when he did that but he always assumed I was already asleep. He really looked out for me back then" said Dawn with another smile.

Buffy was close to tears when she heard that. _That means it could be possible. If Dawn also…I wasn't hallucinating, was I?_ She thought. Sighing, she went and lay down next to her sister, letting Dawn rest her head on her shoulder. She shouldn't have false hope all over again. It will just end up with her and a broken heart. "Why does life always have to be so complicated and hard?" asked Dawn.

"I don't know, Dawnie. I've been trying to figure that out my whole life. It's just the way it is, I guess" Buffy said remembering all the trials she had to face throughout her life. Even before she was a slayer.

"The Spike appearances thing, what are you gonna do about it?" asked Dawn.

"I think I'm gonna talk to Angel about it. He may know something and just didn't want to tell us" Buffy said, her leader mode switching back to place. "You can help if you want to. Ask around or something" she said as she sat up.

"Buffy?" asked Dawn.

"Yeah?"

"What are we going to do about dad?" Dawn asked softly.

"We'll…we'll deal. Just like we did when…Mom died" answered Buffy and Dawn nodded. After a few moments of just sitting together in silence, Dawn spoke up.

"Hey you know this talking together thing is becoming a habit for us" Dawn said with a grin.

"Well, no one's complaining" said Buffy as they shared a smile. "C'mon, let's go get breakfast" she said as they got dressed.

* * *

"That's the third demon tonight" Robin said as he and Faith dragged the now dead body of the demon to a deserted place. 

"Yeah and that's not even counting the two vamps earlier by the Trevi Fountain" added Faith while they started making their way back to the others.

"Yeah, who knew vampires had taste in tourist spots?" he joked as they reached Willow, Kennedy, and Xander.

"So, we gonna call it a night?" Xander asked to no one in particular.

"Uhh yeah. I guess so. We've checked everywhere already anyway" said Willow. "Guys?"

They all agreed to call it a night as they headed back home. "Don't you guys think something's up? I mean, there's been a lot more demons for the past few weeks. Rome isn't exactly on top of a hellmouth" stated Kennedy.

"Yeah, it is kinda. Fishy I mean" said Faith.

"Well then let's hit the books tomorrow" Willow said as everybody groaned. "What, you guys got a better idea?"

"How 'bout we go patrol like we always do, you know, maybe pound some demons for info. The usual. Maybe take some shifts. Some of us hit the books, some hit the demons" Xander said.

"You have thought about this way too much" Willow said with a grin.

"Just trying to make sure I don't have to use my one functioning eye with the books because frankly, I get tired easily reading, what more with one eye" said Xander returning the grin.

"It will be just like before, back in Sunnydale" Xander said after a while. They all walked in silence thinking about Sunnydale. They all missed it. Especially Willow and Xander, missing the ol' Scooby meetings. The two shared a smile, thinking the same thing.

"Ok then. So we'll fix everything up tomorrow. My place at 9AM" Willow said, breaking the silence.

Everyone agreed and said their goodnights and goodbyes as they parted ways to their homes.

The next morning, everyone including Andrew was gathered in Willow and Kennedy's living room, books all over the place and weapons together in a corner.

"What exactly are we looking for?" asked Andrew.

"Let's start with looking for the demons we found last night. They looked scaly, spikes on its back and umm, horns on its knuckles" said Willow.

"And don't forget the stone thingy on its tongue" added Xander as Andrew nodded.

"Oh look at this demon. A Narlykk demon. Says here it can only be killed by licking it. Gross" said Kennedy.

"And weird" added Faith.

After an hour of researching, Xander spoke up. "Ok I'm getting tired of this can we talk shifts please?"

"Yeah okay. Who doesn't mind staying here with me and the books?" asked Willow.

"I don't" answered Kennedy.

"Fine here" Andrew said without even lifting his head from the book he was reading.

"Ok then. Me, Robin and Xander will head out. Try to get some info. See if something's going on" Faith said as they got weapons and started to leave.

"Have fun" Willow said as she closed the door. Turning around, she had an evil smile on her face. "Donuts anyone?" she asked and they all grinned.

Xander, Faith and Robin all went to the spot where they last saw the demons last night. It was in a local cemetery and in no time they found 5 vampires in a crypt. "Finally something to do" Faith said.

"Okay I want this to be quick and snappy. What's the news on the biggest badass in town? Why have there been more demons than usual?" asked Faith when they barged in and all the vamps spread out.

"What makes you so sure that we'll tell you anything?" asked one vampire trying to put up a tough act who Faith assumed was their leader.

Faith shrugged and got the leader by his neck and threw him out the crypt into the sun. In a few seconds he was dust. "Again I ask the question. Anyone who gives me nothing but answers will join Mr. Dusty-pants out in the sun" she said to the rest of the vampires gesturing outside where now there was dust.

Immediately one of them said "We'll tell you anything"

"That's a good vampire. Now what's the news about the big bad in this town?" she asked.

"And why have there been more demons around than usual?" added Robin.

"Listen, all we know is that this demon from ancient times was resurrected by his kind. One of those early demons before time or something" the vamp said.

"Anything else?" asked Xander, wondering when it will be time for him to actually do some action. All of the vamps shook their heads.

"Awww. I was really expecting more from you. Well ok, not really. You better not be lying or leave something out" Faith said.

"N-no. It's true that's all we know, I swear!" one of the vamps said, fear evident in his voice.

"Can we kill them now?" Xander asked and if possible, the vampires became even paler than usual.

"Yeah sure, why not" Faith said as she shrugged and dusted the vamp in front of her and Robin and Xander got the other three.

"So basically all we know is that a powerful demon has just been resurrected and may start all kinds of evil badness?" asked Xander after dusting those vampires and they made their way back to Willow's.

"That about sums it up" Robin said.

"Yippee" said Xander sarcastically.

In a while they got back to Willow's place.

"Guess what?" asked Xander and Willow at the same time.

"What?" they both asked again at the same time.

"You first" they said again together and they both grinned.

"Okay. I better stop this before this becomes never ending" Kennedy interrupted. "Xander you first"

"Okay. We found out that there's this big, ugly demon that got resurrected by his kind" he said.

"Hmmm. That kind of starts to make more sense" Willow said more to herself. "Well ours is kind of more interesting" she continued, pausing for a while. "We happily found out that we get to stop another incoming apocalypse!" Willow said with fake enthusiasm.

Hearing that, Robin, Faith and Xander all groaned and flopped down on the sofa.

* * *

Buffy sighed as she leafed through the papers that she had. "What do you think? What kind of flowers do you want?" she asked. She and Dawn were sitting on lounge chairs in a room that looked like a mixture of a library and a living room. 

"Anything's fine with me. Besides I don't think dad would want us to fret so much about it" said Dawn.

"I kind of wanted it to be just us. You know, at the funeral. But I guess it would be kinda rude to those who would've wanted to come. Like friends of dad" Buffy said.

"Yeah" agreed Dawn. Just then, Angel came walking by and saw the two sisters.

"Hey. How you guys doing?" he asked as he approached them.

"Been better" answered Buffy.

Angel noticed what Buffy and Dawn were working at. "Here" he said and got all the papers. "Let me take care of everything. You shouldn't have to do this again"

"Are you sure?" asked Buffy as Angel nodded.

"Thank you" she said meaningfully.

"It's no problem" he replied. His beeper then rang.

"You have a beeper?" asked Buffy, amused.

"Yeah, hey sorry, I got to go. Business meeting" he said as he stood up.

"Well look at you, Mr. Busy-bee" teased Dawn.

"It isn't exactly an easy job but I guess it pays off" he said as he started to leave. "You guys shouldn't worry too much. We'll help you with anything. Just ask" he added as the girls smiled.

"When are you gonna tell him about Spike?" asked Dawn as soon as Angel was gone.

"Maybe not today. I have too much on my mind" Buffy answered and Dawn nodded in understanding.

That day went by quickly. Both Buffy and Dawn spent most of the day together, taking comfort in each other as they shared the grief they had for their father. The two sisters spent a long time in the park that they used to go to with their dad, talking and having a picnic. Trying to taking things easy. It was easier for them to be in places where they are reminded of their father rather than rush into forgetting him all of a sudden.

Things have been settled, plans have been made. The funeral was going to be held three days from that day and the day after that, Buffy and Dawn were going to head back to Rome. Buffy finally decided that since she practically spent the whole day thinking, she decided to talk to Angel about Spike that night.

Bracing herself for the talk, she paced back and forth in her room. _Hi Angel. You know how you're like really secretive sometimes? Well it's time to 'fess up. What do you know about Spike coming back from the dead? _Buffy thought and practiced in her mind. She snorted at the thought that just came to her mind. That was too weird! _How about: Hey. I need to ask you something. It's really important. It's a matter of sanity here. Eww. No it sounds freaky! Ok ummm. Hi. Uhh, you know how I'm a nutcase and how I need to a mental hospital ASAP? Well I was wondering, have you seen Spike around? You know like walking, talking…alive?_ _Uuggh! Who am I kidding? I'm acting like a silly teenager trying to talk to her first boyfriend! It's Angel we're talking about! I can tell him anything! Well if it's usually about him and Spike then there's a slight problem_.

Frustrated with herself for stressing so much on this, she decided to just wing it. So she made her way to Angel's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in" she heard him say.

"Oh Buffy, it's you. What can I do for you?" he asked.

"I uh actually wanted to talk to you. It's about… Spike" she trailed off when she saw a book open on Angel's desk. On the book, there was a picture of a demon. "Is that the demon that k-killed my dad?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yes" he answered trying not to look at her, starting to panic. Also wondering how on earth could she know about Spike being alive. _Maybe she's just going to ask about something else about him. Wait, like what? _He thought.

"Oh" she simply said as she turned away from him and walked around the office. At one moment she almost forgot why she was even at Angel's office because of the demon. Now that she knew what it looked like, then she could kill it. Make it pay for killing her dad.

"Buffy what about Spike? You're not usually like this. You can tell me anything" Angel said as he stepped away from his desk and moved towards Buffy.

_Look at me now. I'm a total wreck. _Buffy thought as she laughed bitterly. _I'm not myself lately. Everyone sees it. I see it. And I can't even explain anything. How I feel, what I know. What is wrong with me? It has to be the loss. Grief. _

"Buffy I'm serious. What's wrong?" Angel asked getting more worried by the minute.

"It's uh nothing. Forget about it. I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me and Dawn lately" she lied. _What was I thinking? I cant tell him now. It's too soon. I even might have just been imagining it. I have got to move on. He… They wouldn't have wanted me to be like this. _

"Oh. I already told you it was no problem at all. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"I'm peachy" she said with a fake smile.

"Ok. Just making sure. But you know you can tell me anything right?" he asked and Buffy nodded in reply as Buffy left the office.

Buffy made her way back to her room, slipping in quietly. She sat on her bed thinking again. _None of this would be happening if it weren't for my dad dying._ She thought. _This stupid demon and my dad dying. Because of that it makes it harder for me to move on also for Spike. It's making me act unlike myself. I have to kill it. It should help me move on, right? _

Getting some of her weapons, she got ready to find the demon. Hearing Dawn take a shower, she decided to write a note saying she went out for a walk. She closed the door quietly and walked her way out of the building with a serious look on her face. She had a demon to kill.

* * *

Sorry for the late update! Reviews please ! 


	6. Familiar Strangers

**SO SORRY for the late update! I got a writer's block. Don't you just hate them? Reviews would still be very lovely! **

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**Chapter Six - Familiar Strangers**

As soon as Dawn finished showering and getting dressed, she turned on the TV and lay down on her bed. She flipped through the channels finding anything good to watch. Finally she settled on one channel. Though not knowing what was showing, it caught her attention. What she saw was a dad and his two daughters playing in a park. She smiled, the display reminding her of her own father and what she, Buffy and their dad did spending time together before when they were a lot younger. Sighing, she stood up and got her diary. Leaving the TV on she started to write.

_Dear Diary,_

_Surprisingly I'm thinking about dad…again. I just flipped to this channel where there's this dad and his two daughters playing, which really reminded me of what Dad, Buffy and I used to do when we were younger. And we were still here in Los Angeles. Obviously. We'd stay in the park all day. Have a picnic, play ball, eat ice cream. If only things just stayed that way. We'd be a goofy happy-go-lucky family with lots of dorky traditions and stuff. I know, sounds lame but… it would be nice. Mom and Dad would still be together and well, they'd both still be alive. But, I guess nothing's ever the way you want it to be like– I should know. _

_I wonder, if it would be different, if Buffy wasn't chosen to be a slayer. Would we still be living in L.A.? Would we still have met Willow, Xander, Giles and the others? Would maybe, Mom and Dad… still be alive? Or would they be killed by some demons because Buffy isn't there to protect them? Sigh, it's all different. Those are all just silly thoughts. Nothing's ever gonna be normal, like before. I don't regret anything though. Well, anything really big. I have something like a family already. Full of friends who love me and a sister who loves me to the point of dying for me. I think Buffy's done a great job, not only as a slayer but as a sister who looks out for me. Despite how she treated me when she came back from the dead, I forgive her for that. She had a lot of things, hard things to deal with back then. No one's perfect after all. _

_I'm worried about her though. I don't really know my exact reason why, but I'm worried. Speaking of Buffy, where the heck is she? It's 2AM! And it's not like she has to patrol or something, not being the only chosen and all. Oh wait, I see a note. It says – she's out for a walk and that I shouldn't stay up waiting for her. Yeah please. I gotta go now. I'm gonna talk to Angel. . _

_Dawn _

Dawn closed her diary, quickly put on her night robe and headed to Angel's office. She was worried for her sister, even though she knew Buffy could take care of herself.

"Come in" Dawn heard Angel say after she knocked on the door.

"Hey" greeted Dawn.

"Oh hey, it's you" he said. "Come on take a seat"

"Thanks"

"Do you need something? Because if you haven't noticed, it's uh, two in the morning" Angel pointed out.

"Yeah I noticed. I actually came here to talk to you about Buffy" she said.

"Why, what happened, is she okay?" Angel asked, suddenly becoming worried.

"Well, yeah, no. I mean, I don't know" she said. Then she noticed Angel's confused expression and decided to explain more. "It's because – she's kind of…well, I don't know if the correct word is "missing" but well she said she was taking a walk outside and she's not back yet. I mean it's not like she has to patrol, not being the only chosen and stuff, right?"

"Yeah, but what's your point? Are you worried about Buffy?" he asked.

Dawn nodded in reply. "Dawn, we both know she can take care of herself. And we can't be paranoid…yet" he said. "Maybe she needed time alone"

"Yeah I guess. But come on, who would "go for a walk" this late? What if something happened to her?" Dawn asked.

Angel sighed. "You're right. Anything could happen to her but we can't just go look for her right away. I'm sure she's alright" he said. Seeing Dawn's still worried expression, he said, "To make you feel better, I'll go look for her if she still doesn't come back in an hour" he assured her.

"Yeah, ok. That would be great. Thanks. For everything" she said with a smile which Angel returned.

Just before she left, she said, "By the way. When you go look for her, I'm coming with" she said as she left.

Angel was about to protest but he changed his mind. _She's just like her sister._ He thought and went back to work.

* * *

The cold night air embraced Buffy as she cautiously and carefully walked down a street, her slayer sense tingling. Then in an alley she saw a shadow pass by. A shadow, with horns. "I'm guessing that's the demon" she said to herself as she went over to check it out.

She gripped her battle ax tighter as she made a turn to the alley. Then suddenly something jumped on her. She was about to swing her ax when she realized it was just a cat. "So much for demon" she muttered as the cat ran away in fear. She was about to turn back and check some other places when there was a loud thud behind her. She turned around and saw it was the demon she was looking for. "Demon after all" she said as she moved forward sizing it up and thinking of her first move.

But the demon wasted no time at lunging at Buffy. It knocked away her weapon then threw her to the wall. She grunted in slight pain as she fell to the ground then kicked the demon before it could strike again. It stumbled backwards hitting a dumpster, roaring in anger. Buffy quickly stood up, ran towards it, gave it a couple of hard punches and occasionally threw in some kicks. Then she gave it a nice hard roundhouse kick to the head. But before her foot reached back to the ground, the demon got it and twisted hard. Buffy yelled in pain and heard her bone crack. Taking advantage of her sort of weakened state, it got on top of her, pinning her hands above her head. She struggled to break free from its grasp but it held her in a hard iron grip. When she looked at the demon's face, she saw its eyes glow red then turn back to yellow.

Suddenly she stopped struggling. She was in a trance. Feeling the world falling away from her, all she saw was herself and the demon, surrounded in darkness. Using its power to control her for a while, the demon slashed her stomach with its sharp claws. At that exact moment, Buffy snapped out of the trance and felt the pain. It was a burning pain like nothing she's ever felt before. She yelled in agonizing pain but she tried to ignore it the best she could. _First rule of slaying: Don't die. _She reminded herself as she head butted the demon. Desperately she crawled to the corner of the alley where she saw her battle ax, ran back to the demon before it could get back up and stuck the ax in its gut. She slowly sunk back to the ground, clutching her stomach and willing the pain to go away. Very slowly, she felt it did lessen. But the other pain in her ankle didn't help.

* * *

"How are you so sure there's another apocalypse coming?" Xander asked.

"Actually they were just suspicions. We just had some leads to pointing it out" said Willow.

"But what you guys found out made it pretty clear that our suspicions were correct" added Kennedy.

"Okay but, care to explain more?" Faith asked.

"Oh, right. We started off with researching about the demons we found the other night. According to what we found, those demons are called Regontre demons. They have mind controlling powers and their claws are poisonous" explained Willow.

"But if they can control minds, then how come they didn't try their mojo on us?" asked Faith.

"Well that could've been because it was outnumbered 5 to 1. And before it could do anything to any of us, we either distracted it or already killed it" answered Kennedy.

"Anyway, related to the Regontre, we found a prophecy. It's kind of vague though" said Willow as she gave the book to Faith, Xander and Robin to see.

The prophecy was in a language neither of the three could read but attached to it was a piece of paper that had the translated version written by Willow. "'The Old One shall rise - the king of slaughter. Once, twice, thrice, it shall strike. Then shall it gather its army of demons, everywhere in the world, all with a hunger and thirst for bloodshed. Slaughtering all good and right, it shall feast upon fear and death. She herself cannot defeat it, lest she take her last breath.'" Faith read aloud.

"Lovin' the vagueness" said Xander sarcastically.

"I'm guessing "she" here means the slayer. But look around, more than one slayer" said Faith.

"But how could we not know about this prophecy?" asked Robin anxiously.

"Well, this prophecy was until now, thought to be a flop. This was prophesized ages ago but it never happened on the day it was supposed to happen. Since then, barely anything has happened. Only a few signs of the prophecy have been sighted. Like the increase of demon activity in various places, and then there were two solar eclipses in 4 months. Which never occur regularly. After that nothing happened ever again" explained Willow.

"So far all we know is that step one of apocalypse is completed" said Kennedy.

"Is there anything else that we need to know? Like any way to stop it or kill it?" asked Faith.

"Unfortunately nothing yet" said Willow.

"Did I mention how much I hate prophecies?" asked Xander.

"Aren't we going to tell Buffy about this?" asked Andrew, ignoring Xander

"Of course. We cant do this alone" stated Willow.

"Has she called at all since the last one?" asked Faith.

Everyone else shook their heads in response. "Well then, we'll call her. Not now, but soon. She needs to know about this." said Faith.

"Giles! We can ask Giles for help right?" Xander suddenly said.

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. He may know some stuff we don't" said Willow. "Which isn't exactly a surprise" she added.

"In the meantime, we'll do what we can" said Xander. "Usual stuff"

"I wonder if she already found out about Spike" Andrew said staring off into space, suddenly off topic. No one said anything.

"Well, if she did find out, she'd tell us" said Willow after a while. Then she had a thought. "But what would we say?"

Everyone looked at each other for a while, trying to think of an answer. Then they all turned and looked at Andrew. He stared back innocently at them. "What?"

* * *

Buffy crawled slowly towards the alley wall. Carefully, she stood up using the wall for support. She started to make her way back out of the alley when she heard a grunt. She turned back slowly, horrified to see the demon get back up and charge toward her. It tackled her to the ground and she yelled again in pain. It was about to make a death blow when someone with a knife dug it in its back. The demon then roared and turned its attention to its attacker, letting Buffy have a chance to regroup.

As Buffy got up, she looked at the person who saved her life. A tall, blond girl of about 17,she had an aggressive air about her. Swiftly and skillfully she fought the demon with amazing strength, speed and skill. Definitely a slayer. Buffy watched as the girl fought and saw she had the upper hand. But then the tables turned and the demon was about to kill her when Buffy quickly got her axe and threw it at the demon's neck, cleanly cutting off its head.

"I'd like to see you get up again looking like that. Or well, actually I wouldn't" Buffy said to the dead demon as she went over to the girl and helped her up.

"Thanks" they both said.

"I take it you're a slayer too" said Buffy.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"I'm a slayer too" Buffy replied.

"Oh. I'm Jamie by the way. Jamie Scott" she said as they shook hands.

"Buffy. Buffy Summers"

Jamie gaped at her. "You're _the _Buffy Summers?"

Buffy nodded. "Wow. I've heard a lot about you" Jamie said.

"Imagine that"

"Like the time you burned down your high school gym and then blew up your other high school"

"Hey those were both necessary" Buffy defended.

"Do you have like a thing for high schools?"

"I told you it was necessary!" Buffy said getting annoyed.

"Okay,okay" Jamie said raising her hands in the air and backing away. "Just asking. Don't go hack my head off"

Buffy rolled her eyes and started walking away. "Whatever"

"So what brings you here in L.A.?" asked Jamie catching up with her.

"My sister and I were going to visit our dad but…uh something happened to him– let's just say I'll be going to a funeral in a few days" Buffy said softly. Both she and Jamie were surprised that she was sharing that much.

"Oh I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked" said Jamie.

"No it's okay. You couldn't have known. 'Sides it was just a simple question"

Jamie gave a small smile as they started walking out of the alley.

"Hey where are ya going anyway?" Jamie asked.

"Wolfram and Hart. A friend offered my sister and I a place to stay"

"Isn't that place well, evil?"

Buffy thought for a while. "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing" she said distractedly.

The other slayer just nodded. "Whoa. That looks nasty" Jamie said as she noticed Buffy's wound and broken ankle. "You need a hand?" she asked when she saw Buffy limping.

"Uh well - " Buffy started to say when Jamie got her arm and put it over her shoulders.

"Right"

"You're welcome" said Jamie with a grin.

"You're very-" Buffy started to say.

"-convincing? Intimidating? Commanding?"

"I change my mind. I can't even describe you" said Buffy while shaking her head.

"I'm indescribable" Jamie said with a big grin.

"So what's your story anyway, Ms. Scott?" asked Buffy.

Jamie shrugged. "Well there's not much to say. I was born here" She shrugged again. "Got an annoying sister"

Buffy laughed at that. "I know what you mean, believe me"

"Uh huh. Anyway my life occasionally sucks. Lotsa detention and grounding, friend problems and stuff. Oh and especially the parents. The slaying gig can be such a pain, you know?"

"Believe me when I say I do"

"Anyway, to top it all off, we might move from L.A. and my parents are thinking of having a divorce" said Jamie sadly.

"That's harsh" Buffy said trying to comfort her new friend. "I know what it's like. My folks split up too" She paused suddenly realizing a sort of familiarity. "Ok. Hold on. Suddenly realizing that you life is waaay similar to mine"

"Is that a good thing?" Jamie asked, amused.

"Well, look at it this way: I died twice and both my parents are dead"

The smile on Jamie's face instantly disappeared as she heard that.

"It ain't pretty" Buffy said with a funny accent to try to lighten up the mood.

"Sounds like there's a lot that you want to change in your life" said Jamie.

"You don't know the half of it" Buffy said as they continued their walk back to Wolfram & Hart.

* * *

Dawn wandered around the empty building amazed at how huge the place was. Sleep wasn't an issue since she wasn't sleepy and she was too awake to try and go back to sleep. Even at this late an hour. She made her way down to the first floor and somehow ended up right at the entrance of the building. She wanted to go out there and look for her sister herself but then decided against it knowing that it wouldn't make that much of a difference. Before heading back to her room, she saw movement at a distance just outside the building. Squinting through a window, she saw two girls walking. As those two walked under a street lamp, Dawn could make out one of the girls, unmistakably as her sister. She breathed out a sigh of relief at that sight. But then she saw Buffy limping.

She walked outside trying to get a clear view of her sister. Whether or not she was absolutely, positively sure that Buffy was hurt, she ran like the wind towards her.

"Dawn!" Buffy said as she saw her sister. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing" Dawn said crossing her arms in front of her.

"I left a note! I told you I was going out" Buffy protested.

"Yeah sure. Who takes a walk at two in the morning?" she asked. "Here" she said as she took Buffy's other arm and put it over her shoulders.

"Why does everybody think I'm incapable of walking by myself?" Buffy asked, annoyed as they started walking.

"Because you are. I mean look at that foot! It's twisted in an extremely painful position and don't even bother telling me I'm wrong 'cause I know I'm not" she said and Buffy gave a pout.

"It's lucky you have the two of us" Dawn continued but realized she didn't know who the other girl was. "The two of us, being?"

"Jamie Scott. Fellow slayer" she said as she and Dawn shook hands.

"Dawn Summers. Sister of slayer" she said with a grin as they finally reached the building.

"Now. You sit here while I go get Angel" Dawn said as she left.

"I'm perfectly fine!" Buffy called after her.

"And I thought you were the older one" Jamie joked as she sat down too, missing the glare Buffy shot her.

* * *

Dawn was right outside Angel's office when she heard voices inside.

"You bloody idiot! I almost got fried out there!"

Dawn's eyes went huge when she heard that unmistakable accent. _It couldn't really be him, could it?_ She wondered.

She opened the door to find out. "Angel I-" she stopped when she saw the person talking to Angel.

"Spike?" she managed to choke out.

"Dawn" he said surprised. The last time he had seen her, she hadn't even known he was there.

"How? When? Are you real?" she asked, overwhelmed. She was speechless.

"I don't exactly know how, but it had something to do with the amulet Buffy gave. I've been alive for a little while-" he stopped talking when Dawn suddenly rushed forward and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you" Dawn said.

"Missed you too nibblet" he said smiling.

They hugged for a little while longer when suddenly Dawn pulled out of the hug and slapped Spike in the face.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" he asked while rubbing his cheek. Man, that girl could slap hard.

"You were alive all this time! And you didn't bother to tell us! To tell Buffy!" She exclaimed.

Still standing behind his desk, Angel couldn't help smirking. Spike got almost everything he wanted and the fact that Dawn slapped him mad him happier.

"Dawn I-" he tried to explain.

"Do you have any idea what you put Buffy through?" she continued. "She mourned for you. For months. She was a total wreck" Dawn finished. Spike just stared at her, speechless. He had no clue.

Satisfied that she gave Spike a piece of her mind, she started with the next soul-having-vampire.

"And you!" she said whipping around to face Angel as she too slapped him on the face. And as it's the same hate-hate relationship between the two vampires, Spike couldn't help but smirk too.

"Me? What did I do?" Angel said, almost sounding terrified.

"It's what you didn't do! You should've called us! I expected Spike to make some stupid decision like that. He can be really pigheaded sometimes!"

"Hey!" Spike protested.

Just then the door opened and in came a very injured, limping, stressed-looking Buffy. "Dawn I told you I'm fine and what's with all-"

She gasped and almost stumbled when she saw a very alive-looking Spike.

"Spike?" she asked softly. "Are you real?"

"As real as you are luv" Spike said. He couldn't even begin to show how happy he was to see her again.

Buffy laughed. "I must be dreaming"

"Buffy you're not. Spike's alive" Dawn said a little excitedly. She seemed to have forgotten all that anger she just had.

"Buffy, you're hurt" Angel said lamely.

Buffy carefully sat down on a couch ignoring Angel. "It can't be. It's just not possible"

"If you remember luv, both of us have been raised from the dead at least once before" he said with a slight smile.

Still seeing Buffy's uncertain expression, he tried again. He wanted more than anything to just wrap his arms around Buffy and make her feel better. But he felt like he had before. Terrified. He knelt down in front of her and took her hand. "Buffy. I love you. I'd never lie to you"

"How long have you been alive?" she asked quietly.

"A few weeks now" answered without thinking. After saying that, he instantly regretted it.

"Funny how you said you'd never lie to me" she said, hurt. She meant to stand up quickly but her wounds and aching body made her stand up slowly. "Being alive for the past few weeks when everyone thought you were dead. Not bothering to tell them. Yup. That's sort of like a lie, isn't it Spike?" she asked, getting angry.

"Buffy I thought-"

"-you thought you were protecting me. That I would be better of having a normal life. Well this just in: I'll never have a normal life" she said to both her ex's knowing that Angel would have had something to do with Spike not telling her he was alive. Angel just sighed and look defeated. "It's like I don't know the both of you anymore"

She sighed and Dawn came over to her. "Buffy we really should get you fixed up"

"Yeah I-" Buffy started to say when she gasped in pain and held her stomach. At that exact moment, both Spike and Angel rushed to her side.

"Luv, what is it?" asked Spike, beyond worried for Buffy.

"I don't know, it just hurts" she said wincing.

"She needs help! Angel!" Dawn cried, getting even more worried by the moment.

"I'll go" Angel said. With one last look at Buffy, he was gone just as Buffy screamed in pain again.

Quickly, Spike carried Buffy and carefully lay her down on the couch.

"Stay with me, luv" he said when he noticed Buffy's eyes fluttering.

"Spike" was all Buffy said before she fell unconscious.

* * *

**Feel free to bug me about updating faster**


	7. All That Matters

**OMG I'm so sorry to all of you guys! I haven't updated in like...ever! It's just I've been so stressed with school and soccer and other problems and-nevermind. No more excuses...enjoy! Don't forget to review!

* * *

**

Chapter seven - All That Matters

"Buffy, wake up!" Spike almost screamed as he shook Buffy. But the Slayer just lay there, still unconscious. Spike became paler and paler by the minute. If that was even possible. He was not about to lose her. Not again. "Come on, luv" he pleaded.

"Is she-" Dawn started to say.

"-she's still alive"

"How do you know? You didn't even check"

"Vampire hearing, nibblet. I can hear her heartbeat"

Dawn just nodded and knelt down beside Spike. "I lost both Mom and Dad, Spike. I can't lose her too" she said softly.

Spike couldn't say anything. He knew no words could comfort her. No promises because anything could happen right now. So he just hugged her hoping that Buffy would be fine.

Just then, Jamie walked inside the room. "Buffy? Dawn?" she called out. Then she saw the scene before her. "Oh my god, what happened to her?" she asked, worried.

"She just collapsed all of a sudden" Dawn answered after pulling out of the hug Spike gave her.

"Who is she?" Spike asked Dawn.

"Um, excuse me? "She" is standing right here you know" Jamie said, instantly annoyed.

Spike was about to retort when Dawn cut in. "Jamie this is Spike. Spike this is Jamie" Dawn interrupted before things got hairy. Both the slayer and the vampire shook hands.

"Jamie's a slayer and uhh, well…Spike's a-"

"-vampire" Jamie finished for Dawn in a flat tone.

"Good Vampire" Spike corrected.

"He has a soul" added Dawn.

"Huh. I see"

No one said anything for a while thus causing the awkwardness. Fortunately or unfortunately, Buffy started twisting and groaning in her sleep. "What's happening?" Dawn asked, alarmed.

Spike was trying to steady Buffy but she just kept twisting around. "Peaches you better get your bloody ass here" he muttered.

And as if on cue, Angel came rushing through the door with a couple of doctors trailing behind.

"Over there" Angel pointed out to the still flailing Buffy.

The doctors lifted Buffy onto the stretcher and almost as quickly as they got here, they wheeled her away.

"Where are they taking her?" asked Dawn.

"We have medical rooms here. We're going to – wait, who are you?" he asked Jamie.

"Jamie Scott. I'm a slayer. Nice to meet you" she shook hands with a confused-looking Angel. "Go on with what you were saying" she said with a smile.

"Right" he said, still looking at Jamie. She walked around the room looking at the stuff around her. Her eyes settled on a book.

"As I was saying, the doctors are going to run tests on her and clean up her wounds. Basic stuff. How'd she get those wounds anyway?" he asked looking stressed.

Jamie raised her hand. "I can answer that. She was patrolling or whatever. Came across a demon. She got hurt. Almost killed. I came in, saved her. I almost died. She saved me. Then she sliced the demon's head off nice and clean" the slayer said, complete with appropriate hand gestures.

"Yeah. Thanks for the imagery. How'd it look like?" Spike asked, getting impatient.

"Uhhh" she said as she flipped the pages of the book she was looking at. "Like this" she said while handing the book to Spike.

" 'The Regontre Demon'" Spike read. " 'Uses its ability of mind control over its victims and… can poisons its victims with its claws"

"What? That sounds familiar. Let me see that" Angel said and got the book from Spike. His expression became grave after he finished reading. He cleared his throat. "This is the same kind of demon that" he cleared his throat. "…killed Mr. Summers"

Everyone quiet for a moment each thinking the same thing. Dawn wouldn't look at anyone.

"She wanted revenge" Dawn said quietly.

"I should've known" realized Angel.

"We all should have" the bleach-blond vampire added.

"Not to be rude or anything but, brushing aside all that, what's gonna happen to Buffy?" asked Jamie. "Why with the commotion?"

"Well, based on the book there's a possibility that she was poisoned"

"So what are we saying here?" Dawn asked.

"I don't know. Maybe we're just worrying too much. For all we know, it could be nothing," Angel said trying to convince everyone including himself. But it was not working.

* * *

_Beep…beep…beep……beep……_

Buffy opened her eyes to the blinding light of… a hospital-like room. Groaning she shut her eyes and shifted her head to the side. She then opened her eyes slowly.

"Hey" Dawn said who was sitting beside her.

"Hey"

"How're you feeling?" asked Dawn.

Buffy groaned. "Like someone's chopping my stomach to pieces and banging Olaf the troll god's hammer on my head"

"Oh. Ow." Dawn commented.

"What happened anyway? Where am I?" asked Buffy.

"You just sorta collapsed all of a sudden. Angel had doctors here so you're still in Wolfram & Hart. Figured the doctors in normal hospitals would ask lots of questions" Dawn said and Buffy nodded. "The doctors ran some tests on you but nothing's come up yet"

They sat in silence for a while. The only sound in the room was Buffy's heartbeat on the monitor beside her.

"Dawn I, well, I don't know if I was delusional or something but is…is…Spike really back?" Buffy asked softly.

"Yes" Dawn sighed. "He is. And just before you passed out, you guys were having a fight"

"Yeah. _That_ part I think I remember." She muttered to herself. "Where is he?" she asked Dawn.

"I don't know. When I checked in on you he had just left. He's been beside you for almost three straight hours. I only got here about an hour ago"

"Well, I need to talk to him" Buffy said. "Possibly with yelling." She added. Just then the door opened to reveal the bleach-blond vampire himself. _Damn coincidences._ Buffy thought.

* * *

Angel was worried. With a dash of anger. He paced the around the room in record time, waiting for any update from the doctor about Buffy's recovery or lack thereof. He looked out the window and into the night sky. The sheer blackness of it made his skin crawl. It was like nature knew what was happening and decided to join in. Or maybe it was foreshadowing something about to happen. _Something bad._ A voice in his head echoed. No. He shouldn't think like that. He wasn't about to lose her. They didn't even know what was wrong with her. _If _something at all was wrong with her for that matter. What ever would happen, he vowed not to let her get hurt. Especially not after what happened to Cordelia. He was not about to lose someone he cared about, again.

Sighing, he sat down on his chair, head in his hands just as there was a knock on the door.

Angel looked up to see the doctor come in. Immediately, he stood up. "Well? What do you have?"

"Not much really, but its enough to go on. After running some tests on her, we've discovered something in her blood. Poison. And after researching about the demon that hurt her, we realized it was the poison from the said demon" the doctor answered.

"What's going to happen to her?" Angel asked dreading an answer he knew may come.

"The poison will go straight to her heart then soon spread all over her body. Then it will intoxicate all of her internal organs and which will soon end up-"

"-killing her" Angel finished.

"I'm afraid so"

"Is there are cure?"

"That sir is where our problem is. There is no cure"

Angel's blood froze. "What do you mean there's no cure? There _has _to be a cure" he said, voice rising out of fear and anger.

"I'm sorry sir but there just isn't. All accounts of cases like these have said to have been no cure. Either we keep looking for one or try making one. Both of which are difficult and will take time. But I'm afraid time is an issue here"

"How much time does she have left?" Angel dared to ask.

"At the most, four days"

* * *

He was here. With her. This could not be happening.

"Spike" she said, acknowledging him.

"Buffy"

They stared at each other in silence. Lost in each other's mere presence.

She looked into his clear piercing blue eyes.

He stared back into hers.

Neither of them noticed Dawn slip away from the room. They stayed that way for a few minutes till Spike couldn't take it anymore. Someone had to say something.

"I'm sorry" he finally said.

Buffy said nothing. She looked down at her fingers and seemed to have a particular interest in them.

"I know."

Spike for a moment just stared at her blankly. "'I_ know_'? That's all you can say?"

"Well what _do_ you expect me to say?" she asked, still looking at her hands.

"I actually expected you to either cry or yell at me. Or maybe both"

"I won't" she paused. I just don't know what to do" she said. "This whole thing is exhausting and I just want it to be better" she finally looked him in the eye. He nodded, still a little surprised. This wasn't like her. He sat down on a chair next to her bed and motioned for her to go on. "Can we just skip this whole thing?"

Spike gave a small smile. He took a breath as he sat at the edge of her bed. When she didn't pull back or hesitate, he shifted his legs and lay beside her. This whole thing was fine for the both of them. She didn't yell at him and Spike took that as a good sign. They were taking a little step at a time. Things were starting to look a little bit better. But both of them knew it wouldn't last. It never did.

"I thought you said you wanted to talk" Spike asked after a while.

Buffy thought for a moment. "Well, yeah I do. Just not right now" she said softly, slowly falling back to sleep.

"Ok. Whatever you want, luv"

Buffy was about to protest about how she didn't want things to be up to her. How if she would do all the deciding, things would end up like before. She, being selfish. He being used. It would destroy whatever relationship they had left, again. But who's to say that they were getting back together again? No one said anything about anything. So it was useless to get worried and hyped up about things…right?

She quickly pushed those thoughts away as she continued to slowly fall back asleep. She lay there contented that Spike, her friend, her comrade, her former lover, was back. At that precise moment, that was all that mattered.

* * *

** Hope you all enjoyed it! I'm going to REALLY try and update sooner, so yeah. Once again, feel free to bug me so that I can update sooner. Reviews will make me update faster hint hint Till next time, (which hopefully wont be in 7 months)**

**slayersrule**


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